01:04:31 am on
Tuesday 21 Nov 2017

Random Thoughts
Matt Seinberg

Today, a million things raced cross my brain at warp speed. It made me go, "Huh?" At least it feels like a million things, but it's a lot of stuff. I'll share some, today.


Shouldn’t Labour Day be a holiday for everybody?

If it’s Labour Day, should all of us at work get the day off? Why has it become a big shopping holiday? Aren't we supposed to be celebrating the working person? So how come the working people actually have to work, and not be with their family and friends?

Two weeks in a row, I got crop dusted at work. For those of you that don't know what that means, let me explain. Someone crosses in front of you and, all of a sudden, you get that whiff of a smelly fart. No matter where you turn, that stench is surrounding you. The first was by an old woman and the second by biker type dad. Boy did they stink!

I was at physical therapy (PT) the other day when, just getting onto the stationary bike, when my phone rings. It's my father-in-law. He’s canceling plans we had for later.

Just getting on the bike next to me is an older woman, 66-plus, if I had to guess. She was what I refer to as "doughy looking." Picture the Pillsbury Dough Boy as a female senior citizen and you'll understand what I mean.

She says, "Wouldn't you rather talk to me?" I thought about of a couple of seconds, and replied, "No, I'd rather ride the bike." I then put my earbuds in and started pedaling. She muttered, "Your choice." Damn right, I didn't want to talk to her.

I go to PT to help my back not make friends. I speak to one fellow, all the time I’ve been going to PT. He's an Army vet and car freak like me. Unfortunately, he wasn't there that day.


My wife didn’t like that I blew off the elderly woman.

When I told my wife about this, she asked several questions. "If she were young and hot, would you have talked to her?" “Yes, I would.”

"If she were young and hot and asked you to lunch, would you have gone?" “Yes, I would.”

"If she were young and hot and asked you back to her place, would you go?" “Hell, yes, I would!”

My wife berated me for my positive answers.

She then asked me some other questions. "If a customer of mine at work wanted to talk to me, should I?" “Sure, go ahead.”

"If a customer asked me to lunch, should I go?" “Sure, have a free meal.”

"If a customer of mine asked me back to his place, should I go?" “Sure, have a good time!”

I then told her, if you ask stupid questions, you're going to get equally stupid answers. That was the end of that conversation.

I went to BJ's twice this week. Usually I go once every three weeks, but I forgot some stuff the first time. I needed garbage bags, Muenster cheese, graham crackers and something else, I don't remember right now.

When I got home, I realised I picked up the wrong cheese. I got Swiss instead of Muenster. I'm not a big Swiss cheese fan, but my wife is, so it won't go to waste. Now, I have to go back next week for more cheese, roast beef and maybe some turkey.

Isn't it frustrating when you go shopping and forget to buy one or more of the items you wanted. Then have to return another day?


What a relief, not that’s all off my mind.

Thanks for letting me release all of those thoughts. My mind now feels less cluttered.

 

Matt Seinberg lives on Long Island, a few minutes east of New York City. He looks at everything around him and notices much. Somewhat less cynical than dyed in the wool New Yorkers, Seinberg believes those who don't see what he does like reading about what he sees and what it means to him. Seinberg columns revel in the silly little things of life and laughter as well as much well-directed anger at inept, foolish public officials. Mostly, Seinberg writes for those who laugh easily at their own foibles as well as those of others.

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