11:20:37 am on
Tuesday 23 Jul 2024

Sock Phobia
Matt Seinberg

Melissa just said the funniest thing just now! She said that life is too short to wear matching socks. She just happened to be wearing a pair of matching maroon and pink socks when she said it. Normally and on purpose, she will wear socks that do not match.

Melissa, my daughter, doesn't care if her socks match.

A while ago, when I first asked her about wearing non-matching socks, I figured she was too lazy to put a matching pair together. She says she doesn't give a crap if they match or not and it's not fashion statement. It's just what she likes.

At school, Melissa says that socks are the number one thing to look at. She looks at kids with sandals and socks; maybe what socks women or me wear with athletic shoes is interesting, but I doubt it.

As long as she keeps it to her socks, that's fine. Let's face facts, how many people are actually looking down at our feet, much less our socks? Our pants, shoes or sneakers usually hide our socks.

I wear white athletic socks, with sneakers ...

In my case, I wear white athletic socks, with sneakers, most of the time, especially on my day off. When I'm at work, I'll wear very nice business type socks that go with my suit of the day. I'm too old and stuck in my ways to wear non-matching socks to work. I don't have to make a fashion statement, as does my daughter.

One of the fellows at work is young and single; he also wears non-matching socks on purpose. I once asked him if he does it because he forgot to do laundry or just because he wants to wear non-matching socks. After getting a very dull stare, he said it was because he wanted to wear non-matching socks. At least they were in the same colour family and went with the rest of his clothing.

I've written about this before: how do socks mysteriously disappear from the washing machine or the dryer? I still haven't figured out where socks go or how socks sometimes reappear.

Most of the time I end up with that lone sock; it's usually from a new pair, not an old pair. I don't care if an old sock disappears, but it really sucks when it happens to a new one. I can just hope that missing one reappears one day.

There was a guy on the ABC-TV show "Shark Tank" that had a great idea for selling socks in a set of three. I thought that was great. It would extend the sock life by not having to worry where one of them disappeared to, until two of them were gone. By then, it probably wouldn't matter.

There is one thing we always laugh at; that's the old man wearing sandals with non-matching socks. Although they both may be white or another colour, for some reason they aren't the same size, so one will be high on his leg and the other low on the other leg.

What a relief.

I feel so much better now that I've gotten rid of sock phobia.


















Matt Seinberg lives on Long Island, a few minutes east of New York City. He looks at everything around him and notices much. Somewhat less cynical than dyed in the wool New Yorkers, Seinberg believes those who don't see what he does like reading about what he sees and what it means to him. Seinberg columns revel in the silly little things of life and laughter as well as much well-directed anger at inept, foolish public officials. Mostly, Seinberg writes for those who laugh easily at their own foibles as well as those of others.

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