Just two days till Christmas
In the place where folks are told
It's the coolest spot when the weather's hot
And the hottest when it's cold
Excited kids are cautioned
Be good for goodness' sake
Or you'll finish out your childhood
In Wellington on the Lake
But they're on their best behaviour
Because they know when Santa's stuck
He entrusts his key deliveries
To a yellow hardware truck
Each Wednesday it's a cetainty
The truck will reappear
And today's its final visit
Till that best day of the year
Staffers pace the pavement
Restrain the swelling crowd
They've set out orange pylons
And the street's been freshly plowed
Then someone yells "I see it!"
And the yellow truck pullls in
The crowd breaks out in wild applause
And the staff relax and grin
Meanwhile only doors away
The Times has hit the street
To shouts of 'hallelujah
My life is now complete'
The truck is slowly emptied
Folks jostle for a look
Did he bring that saw for grandma?
Has he got dad's three inch hook?
There's roofing nails for sister
Some duct tape for my mum
A pitchfork for my cousins
But I'm the one who's glum
No trace of licorice allsorts
Head office dropped the ball
No boxes on the store shelves
In the warehouse - none at all
The shortage is an outrage
No ifs or ands or buts
But I suck it up and purchase
A tin of roasted nuts
And I offer a suggestion
For a novel retail plan
Why not chocolate covered drillbits
Or screws in marzipan?
As the door is slameed behind me,
My thinking turns more clear
And I begin to contemplate
My wishes for next year
An arena and new welcome signs
Will surely come to pass
But what I wissh for most of all
Is a place to pump some gas
So I call up Peter Mertens
Our man at city hall
And he says, while he's not certain
It just may come by fall
So let's celebrate in confidence
What's wished for will unfold
In the coolest spot when the weather's hot
And the hottest when it's cold.
